It's been a little over two months since I sold my house. It honestly feels like an eternity; like an entirely different life that I lived. It's taking me a while, but I finally feel a sense of peace with the situation. Although I'm living in a strange "in-between" phase right now, I'm making it work! Just figured I'd check in and let you all know what I've been up to.
I'm still at my parents' house. It's not ideal, but it's exactly where I need to be right now. The stubborn Sagittarius in me has desperately wanted to take off running and immediately begin a new adventure. But I knew that wasn't practical in this situation. I needed to heal. I tried looking at apartments, but I couldn't drive through any surrounding area without breaking down in the car. With each road I traveled, through every town, past every shopping center and restaurant, there was a memory of the life I was living just a few months prior. Just listen to Driver's License -- Olivia Rodrigo perfectly sets the scene. Sometimes memories of happier times can be even more painful than the bad ones. So I listened to my intuition on this one, which continued to scream "you're not ready".
It's so easy to say, "I'm looking forward to my next chapter!" and hold onto that glimmer of hope and optimism pushing you through the darkness. It's not always easy to believe that though, especially when you're so busy wondering when will that new chapter come? But honey -- YOU are the writer! And you can't keep rereading that last chapter hoping for a different ending. You've got to turn that page and create a new one.
My new chapter had already started, but I spent a lot of time waiting for things to feel better instead of enjoying the present. It's not always going to feel good. Some days you're stuck in the darkness, some days you're in the light. Some days you're living in the past, some days you're afraid of what the future holds. Healing isn't linear. It's a work in progress. Just because you have a positive outlook, doesn't mean you'll see instant results. Give yourself some grace.
So, onto the good stuff. What have I been up to? Mostly renovating my parents' house. Ripping up carpets, painting walls, installing new flooring, gutting bathrooms, transforming my old bedroom into a plant sanctuary. That's a no brainer. [Stay tuned for an upcoming post on all those home updates!] But things are finally starting to align for me in other ways.
I've always been a firm believer in the phrase "everything happens for a reason", especially through all of this. Life has a funny way of bringing you exactly where you're meant to be. I was looking for someone to build with, to show me the ropes of home remodeling, how to use the tools I have to create the life I want. I wanted a space to design. I wanted to expand my Etsy shop offering.
And guess what? An old neighbor popped back into my life - a carpenter, who needed my help just as I needed his. And now I have the company of a good friend, teacher, a woodshop, and a 4 bedroom house ripped down to the studs - waiting to be designed.
People who I haven't talked to in years are coming out of the woodwork (pun intended). I've reconnected with old friends and have fostered meaningful relationships with new ones. I'm finding my tribe.
"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all -- surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself." - E. Lee
I remember sitting in my room sulking one day, frustrated with feelings of stagnancy. I wanted so desperately to move, but I was STUCK. So I prayed for a project to help shift the energy and bring me some excitement again. That same morning, my neighbors got rid of a beautiful vintage mid-century modern dresser and asked me if I wanted to restore it. Um, YES! [Bonus - now I have someone who can help me restore it in return for my marketing assistance!]
I've also been wanting to expand my knowledge in the digital marketing space. Welp, my company got acquired a few weeks ago, and what I thought was going to be catastrophic event has turned into the ultimate learning opportunity to expand my digital expertise amongst a huge range of clients, big and small.
Ask, and you shall receive. Even if it doesn't show up the way that you'd hoped. I can see the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place, and I know one day I'll look back and understand why all of this had to happen this way.
Rebuilding your life from the ashes is absolutely terrifying, but having faith in the bigger picture will be the glue that supports your vision. Don't ever give up on your dream just because someone gave up on you. Hold your vision. Make new connections. Keep building.
XO,
@kyliewhitespace